Tag: Bella Bixby

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Soccer Thorns

Takeaways: Racing Louisville 2, Portland Thorns 1

Photo by Matthew Wolfe.

Down Sophia Smith and on the second match of a two-game road trip, the Portland Thorns took on Racing Louisville on Saturday. Portland has yet to take points from two back-to-back road games this season, and they weren’t able to break that streak in Kentucky; after leaving with a draw against the Washington Spirit the weekend before, the Thorns fell 2-1 to Racing in a match that didn’t feel like Portland’s best work—even without Smith.

So, where did the Thorns go wrong?

Set pieces, for one. They’ve been one of Portland’s weaker points all season, and Racing took advantage. Both of Louisville’s goals—an Abby Erceg header and a brilliant strike from Thembi Kgatlana—came off corner kicks.

But that wasn’t the only thing Portland struggled with.

“We’re probably our own worst enemy,” defender Meghan Klingenberg said after the game. “We gave the ball away in spots that we don’t usually give the ball away in, and that led to some counterattacks and transitions that were difficult to defend because we were in a big shape. I think that typically doesn’t happen to this team.”

The first six minutes

Make no mistake: Racing was ready for this one. They came out with an aggressive press in midfield, showing organized marking and pressure when the Thorns had the ball and a commitment to pick off passes, go forward, and turn any chance they had into a shot.

“Credit to Louisville,” Thorns goalkeeper Bella Bixby said. “Their tactic was to be high-pressing and have all their numbers around the ball, and they did that well.”

The Thorns, for their part, were caught on the back foot and were rather lucky (more on that soon) to get out of those opening minutes without conceding a goal.

Perhaps just as impressive was Morgan Weaver, who won the ball off Louisville goalkeeper Katie Lund, took the ball to the left, and sent her shot into the back of the net in the sixth minute. It was a very Weaver goal: making something out of nothing, and—even if it wasn’t in the dying moments of a game—scoring for Portland at a time they really needed it. (In my game notes, I described the goal as, “Morgan Weaver doing Morgan Weaver things.”)

Even if Weaver scoring didn’t allow Portland to shift into the commanding attack we’re used to seeing them Thorns, it at least settled the game down and opened up chances for both sides.

Luck and Bella Bixby

As alluded to above, the Thorns were lucky to go into the half 1-0. Racing finished the match with 26 shots to Portland’s 15—a stat that normally favors the Thorns—putting nine of them on target to the Thorns’ four. They ended the game with 1.8 xG, with many of their best chances coming before Weaver’s goal in the first half:

That the Thorns didn’t concede early—and that Louisville wasn’t able to get on the scoresheet until Erceg broke through in the 60th minute—was largely due to two factors: luck and a stellar performance from Bixby.

In many of those opening chances, Racing struggled to direct their shots on frame, giving the Thorns a lucky break.

But Louisville did direct quite a few of those on target, calling on Bixby to make seven saves on the night. (Prior to Racing, she’d made an average of three and a half saves per game in regular season competition.)

“I definitely think it was one of my busier games in terms of goal-defending,” Bixby said. “I find myself in games, oftentimes, most busy with defending the box in terms of crosses.”

It wasn’t only that Bixby was busy in goal; even with the two goals against, she did well to defend her net. “A really big performance from her,” Portland head coach Mike Norris said. “She kept the [Thorns] in the game far longer than we probably should have been.”

Especially with a shaky—by her standards—middle of the 2023 season, it’s nice to see Bixby finding her form and giving Portland a fighting chance when they were on the back foot, even if they didn’t go on to win.

Formation or fatigue?

“They played a good game,” Klingenberg said of Louisville, “and I think their transition was pretty lethal. But I think we played right into it. We shot ourselves in our own foot.”

It’s not the first time Portland’s come up against that kind of pressure, Klingenberg said. And she’s right: the Thorns have had a target on their backs since the first time they stepped on the field as the reigning NWSL champions and beat the Orlando Pride 4-0 in their opener. And they’ve found ways to win despite that.

For some reason, though, Portland just wasn’t good enough in this one.

We can probably chalk some of it up to fatigue: the Thorns haven’t been home since before their matchup against the Spirit, and being on the road for that long can weigh on you.

“If we were more crisp, if we connected passes, if we skipped over top of their press, then we could have gotten past it,” Klingenberg said, and I think we can attribute at least some of that lack of sharpness to Portland’s road stint.

But I also wonder how much of it is up to tactics and the Thorns’ formation. As Jaiden wrote last week, it’s important for Norris to play to the strengths of the forwards he has available. In this case, that’s Weaver and Hannah Betfort. Weaver, obviously, got her goal, and Betfort got a couple chances off and showed well in her off-the-ball pressure, but I don’t think the Thorns were feeding the ball into either of them nearly enough.

I think some of that could’ve been helped by formation—maybe by pushing Olivia Moultrie more centrally into the space of Hina Sugita and asking Moultrie to open up space while Sugita takes on defenders on the wing.

I think a lot of that could’ve been helped by letting Crystal Dunn play before the 61st minute—maybe in the place of Moultrie and slipping Sugita into that wider position—and letting her open up space going forward. Even in her half hour on the field, Dunn tied Betfort and Weaver for first on the team in shots and was fourth in expected goals—despite playing significantly fewer minutes than everyone in front of her.

Tactics or tiredness, Portland has a chance to rest and regroup after this one. They have two weeks between Louisville and their next match against OL Reign, where they’ll take on a Seattle side that’s won only one of their last five matches but has a lot to play for with Megan Rapinoe appearing in her last Cascadia Rivalry game in Providence Park.

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Soccer Thorns

Takeaways: Thorns 1, Spirit 1

Photo by Matthew Wolfe.

The Portland Thorns played their first game with all five World Cup players back in the squad last weekend against the Washington Spirit in DC. The team was coming off of a much-needed victory where the team set the record as the first NWSL team to receive a first-half red card (awarded to Kelli Hubly) and win the game. Better yet, that game resulted in the Thorns taking three points off the North Carolina Courage, which was probably the biggest win of a game that included some insane ball control from Hannah Betfort for the equalizer and a Sophia Smith game-winner less than a minute into her return to Providence Park. 

With momentum on their side, the Thorns travelled to DC to take on Mark Parsons’ title-contending Spirit. More so than most teams in the league, both the Spirit and the Thorns had players that suffered significant World Cup roster-related injustices. Sam Coffey and Ashley Hatch were inexplicable snubs, Crystal Dunn had to play in a non-natural position, Sophia Smith and Trinity Rodman were wingers in a system that isolated them and didn’t let them perform to the best of their abilities— the list goes on. With squads filled with players who were looking to prove their talents after a lackluster USWNT performance, tensions were always going to be high, and the match was set to be cagey.

Ultimately, a 1-1 draw was not what the Thorns wanted after dominating 4-2 in the earlier matchup, and the game was less tactically promising than it could have been. Let’s look at why, and how it may affect the Thorns as they head into the final stretch of the season. 

The Thorns need to play to Betfort and Weaver’s strengths

The Thorns debuted their new 4-4-2 formation against the Courage and brought it out again in DC. As someone who has advocated for more defensive coverage with such advanced wingbacks all season, I am delighted at the success of a Rocky Rodríguez-Coffey double pivot. It provides much-needed stability for Portland’s backline, which was especially necessary with the Meaghan Nally-Emily Menges backline that Portland started due to Hubly’s red card. The Thorns held the Spirit to 0.62 xG, not including the penalty—very low for a team that has the attacking powers of Rodman, Ashley Sanchez, and Ashley Hatch. 

While the new formation allows the Thorns to more effectively carry the ball through the middle of the pitch and have adequate defensive coverage, there was a disconnect between the eight midfielders and defenders and the two forwards. The Thorns only had 10 total shots, four of which were on goal, a shockingly low number for the team who has scored an average of 2.3 goals per game this season. The Thorns also only had 78 passes within the final third for a 53% passing accuracy, matching the eye test that showed the midfielders unable to find the feet of Smith and Morgan Weaver. In fact, the players with the highest number of completed passes throughout the game were the four defenders and Coffey. While it is important to be able to maintain possession in your own half, you need to be able to progress the ball up the field in order to win a game. The Thorns were unable to consistently do that against the Spirit. 

The new formation seems to have been created around Smith and Morgan Weaver, who have great chemistry and the ability to change sides and seamlessly float in behind the back line. However, when Smith went down with what we now know is a mild MCL sprain in the end of the first half and the scoreline was still 0-0, the pressure was on for head coach Mike Norris to make some kind of formation or tactical change in order to grind out the win. 

Betfort has been coming in for Smith all season and started in Smith’s absence at the World Cup. However, Betfort’s playing style is immensely different to that of Smith’s. Honestly, there is no player in the world who plays at Smith’s level, and it is unfair of Norris to slot Betfort into Smith’s position and ask her to do the same things, like receiving the ball with her back to goal and dribbling through multiple defenders to get a shot off.

Betfort is an out-and-out No. 9. Her ball control has improved immensely over the course of the season, as has her shot selection. However, she does not have the same dribbling control that Smith has (to be fair, no other player in the world does). A 4-3-3 is much better suited to Betfort’s strengths, where she can receive the ball in the box and use her physical strength to shoot it on target. A 4-4-2 where Betfort is up front with Morgan leaves less room for her to get good services into the box, and it’s not fair to expect Betfort to produce in a way that is not playing to her strengths. 

Additionally, Weaver traditionally has done very well at tight angles, when she is able to cut in from the left side as opposed to starting centrally. Transitioning back to a 4-3-3, where she and Hina Sugita play out wide up top, will allow both players to cut in and threaten goal—a tactic that has historically worked well for both players.

The Thorns only had seven crosses throughout the entire game, compared to Washington’s 14.  I would argue that the Thorns’ only good chance of the night came on Weaver’s goal, and in large part was due to Coffey’s excellent weighted ball behind the backline. Betfort, who played over 45 minutes, only had 17 touches on the ball, meaning that she was essentially boxed out of the game—largely was due to the formation. Reyna Reyes, who played only 15 minutes, had more touches than Betfort. In Smith’s absence the Thorns need to go back to a formation that allows their available forwards to succeed. 

Bella’s command of the box is important 

Despite failing to block Hatch’s penalty kick in stoppage time, Bella Bixby had a very good game. She had four saves on the night, but her real strength during the game was organizing the defense and being aggressive in the box. This season Bixby has become more aggressive off her line, stepping out to get crosses and long balls to mitigate shots before they even happen. A lot of the play in the NWSL is direct and over-the-top, inviting players to go one-on-one with the keeper. By coming off her line early, Bixby forced the Spirit front line to try a different route to goal, which they struggled with. Meghan Klingenberg and Natalia Kuikka were largely able to shut down Washington’s forwards’ attempts at running down the wings, and if they were able to get a cross off, Bixby was quick to track it down instead of waiting for the second ball.

These abilities are ones that should be valued by the USWNT, so hopefully Bixby gets called into an upcoming camp, as her play this season deserves recognition. 

Hina is the GOAT

Honestly, I think Hina was the player I missed most during the World Cup break. Her work rate and ability to stick with the ball is unmatched. I don’t know how she manages to win some of the tackles she does, and her trickery on the ball is so much fun to watch. With Smith likely out until at least the playoff run, I would argue that Hina will be the Thorns’ most important player during the next stretch of games. They will need to utilize her strengths to float around the pitch wherever she pleases. Hina Hive let’s get loud!! 

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Soccer Thorns

My Dream Starting XI

With very few offseason moves from the Thorns after their championship winning 2022 season, creating The best Starting XI for the 2023 season is rather easy. 

My ideal starting XI is a 3-2-3-2. Early in the 2022 season, Portland deployed a three-back, and it was effective. Having traded Yazmeen Ryan, the Thorns’ strongest pure-winger, I think it would be to the Thorns’ tactical advantage to use their outside backs as true wingbacks, playing the length of the field to send in crosses and dropping back provide cover. This will free up the attacking midfield and forward four players to creatively interchange through the center of the park.

Here’s why that works on a player-by-player basis.

Bella Bixby, goalkeeper
Photo by Matthew Wolfe

You can’t go wrong putting any Nadine Angerer-trained keeper in goal, but Bixby has earned her spot as the Thorns’ first-choice keeper. In her 22 games last season, she had 10 clean sheets and recorded a 75% save record. She conceded only 21 goals, making her tied for least number conceded for players with over 22 games played. She has a commanding presence in goal and ensures that her backline is in the right place to make her job easier. One of the skills that sets her apart from other keepers is her ability to not only save the ball, but catch it so that there are no easy rebounds for the opposition. Her calm demeanor gives a sense of security for fans and players alike.

Becky Sauerbrunn, center back
Photo by Matthew Wolfe

Despite her years of experience, Sauerbrunn has shown no signs of slowing down. Her ability to pinpoint sliding tackles and deftly clear the ball are intangible skills that have not diminished. In the 2022 season, Sauerbrunn had an 88.1% passing success rate, an incredibly high number for someone who plays under so much direct pressure from NWSL forwards. Of those passes, 46% were forward and only 5% backwards. Having Sauerbrunn has the stalwart of the backline will help to ensure that play will build from the back accurately and quickly. And you cannot forget that she scores goals as well, having a 50% conversion rate. She truly does it all. 

Kelli Hubly, center back
Photo by Matthew Wolfe

The Thorns’ 2022 Ironwoman has more than earned her spot in the starting lineup since joining the team as a discovery player in 2018. She had 110 clearances and 35 interceptions last season and won nearly 60% of her duels. Hubly is a gritty player who consistently puts her body on the line in order to protect her goal. Working alongside Sauerbrunn at the back has increased her ball awareness exponentially, and when Sauerbrunn is absent for the Women’s World Cup, Hubly will be an excellent leader of the backline. Plus, her TikTok skills have increased her swagger tenfold—and, hopefully, that will translate to the pitch this season.

Meaghan Nally, center back
Photo by Matthew Wolfe

Nally is one player that I really wish had gotten more game time than she did last season. She started the season running, with both Menges and Sauerbrunn out with injury, and she handled the starting role with grace and confidence. In her 12 games played for the Thorns in 2022, she had 11 starts, recording an 82% passing success rate and winning 75% of her duels. Having only played 19 minutes in her rookie season the year prior, Nally showed how much she is capable of growing during an offseason—and hasn’t even hit her ceiling yet. With the opportunity to get more time at the back, she has the ability to become a pillar of the Thorns’ backline, much like Hubly. 

Meghan Klingenberg, left wing back
Photo by Matthew Wolfe

Reyna Reyes will be hot on Kling’s heels to win that LWB starting position, but for now, Kling has put in the time and the heart to show that she deserves her place. She made 17 appearances (16 starts) for the Thorns last season, controlling the left zone of the field. While technically a defender, Kling’s biggest asset is her ability to win the ball and carry it up the field to send off a cross. Without Ryan on the left this season, the chance creator role will fall more heavily on Kling’s shoulders. She had 29 open play crosses last season, 25 of which were key passes. If she can keep those numbers up, she will be threatening in her final few seasons as a Thorn. 

Natalia Kuikka, right wing back
Photo by Matthew Wolfe

Kuikka has been one of the Thorns’ best international signings in recent years. While her passing rate sits at a 75% accuracy, her invaluable nature comes from the tenacity of her tackles. She is 10th in the league for her number of progressive carries and eighth in the league for successful tackles of dribblers. As the Thorns’ right wing back she consistently is able to get into the attacking third and play a dangerous ball in. Kuikka also has the ability to track back and stop attackers mid-stride. The ability to be deadly on both sides of the ball will make her a strong asset for the Thorns yet again. 

Sam Coffey, defensive midfield
Photo by Matthew Wolfe

Coffey had one of the strongest debut seasons in the NWSL, ever. She transitioned to defensive midfield—a role that she had not played before—with ease and learned on the job extremely quickly. She ranked second in the league for passes into the final third with 113 and fourth overall for progressive passes with 121. Her confidence on the ball is incredibly high, as is her IQ of the game itself. Only 24 and coming off her rookie year, Coffey’s ceiling is sky-high, and her value to the team will continue to grow exponentially. Despite her being more than deserving of a spot on the USWNT’s WWC roster, I would not complain if she stayed with the Thorns for an entire season.

Hina Sugita, center midfield
Photo by Matthew Wolfe

It took Sugita a few games to adjust to the speed and tempo of the NWSL, as well as its physicality. She started 20 of the 23 games she appeared in in her first season with the Thorns, scoring five goals and providing four assists. Sugita’s ability to turn out of dangerous situations is uncanny, and her left foot has some killer power behind it. Giving her the ability to play interchangeably up the middle with Sophia Smith and Morgan Weaver will give her the freedom to both drive the ball forward herself and make dangerous runs to the top of the box, where she has proven to be a threat. Hina Hive sound off!!! 

Rocky Rodríguez, center midfield
Photo by Matthew Wolfe

Rodríguez has quietly been one of the most consistent Thorns for years, and I think that last year was when people began to realize that. Not only is she regularly scoring bangers, like in the semi-final game against San Diego, but she is one of the best progressive dribblers in the league. Her control in the middle of the field is second to none, and with her impressive performances with Costa Rica over the offseason, she is coming into the 2023 season in incredible form. 

Morgan Weaver, forward

In some ways, it has felt as though Weaver has been living in Smith’s shadow since she joined the Thorns. Being picked second overall behind her and playing the same position, it is easy to see why the two players are constantly being compared. But in 2022, Weaver showed how different of a player she is from Smith. She had the second most goals on the team last season with seven, showing that her accuracy and consistency in front of net—something that she has been criticized for and is actively working on—is rapidly improving. Weaver has an engine that never quits and some of the best celebrations on the team. If her finishing numbers continue to increase, as they have every other season, she will be a force to be reckoned with. 

Sophia Smith, Forward
Photo by Matthew Wolfe

Do I really need to elaborate here? Smith is the best soccer player in the world, currently. Of course she will start for the Thorns. 

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Soccer Thorns

The Final Bow: Thorns 2, Kansas City 0

Photo by Craig Mitchelldyer/Thorns FC

From the moment the first whistle blew, the Thorns dominated the 2022 NWSL Championship game. Despite the fact that this unique group of players had never taken the field together for a final, they looked as though they did so every week. The pressure was high—not only to cap off their successful 2022 campaign with a victory, but also to make a name for themselves as people, not just an agglomeration of players marred by the abuse and scandal in the fabric of their club. The victory cannot erase the history of abuse in the club, nor can it force Merritt Paulson to sell both teams once and for all, but the overwhelming joy the players exude makes you feel that, for a second, it could be possible. 

I distinctly remember the end of the 2021 season. It was sad and unceremonious, a home defeat in the playoffs and a silent goodbye to those players. It wasn’t the sendoff they deserved, and it reflected the confusion and fractured nature of the league at the time. This year was an entirely different narrative. 

The Thorns had several X-factors when coming to DC that propelled them to a comfortable victory over Kansas City. The first, of course, is Sophia Smith. 

In the fourth minute, Smith proved to the world why she was deserving of the league’s MVP title. Capitalizing on the mistake of the KC backline, she took a deft touch around AD Franch and calmly slotted the ball into the open net. It wasn’t arrogance; it was confidence to take on one of the best keepers in the world one-on-one and make her look silly. 

To celebrate, Smith just shrugged. 

After the game, when asked about her celebration, Smith said, “There’s been a lot of people who think I don’t deserve to win MVP, so that’s a little bit of… that’s that.” 

Every day we get to watch Sophia Smith play for the Portland Thorns is incredible. Her talents and composure on the pitch are not to be taken for granted, and watching her play is pure joy. Head coach Rhian Wilkinson put it best when she said that, “Soph is one of the best players this country has produced.” Absolute legend behavior, and she’s only 22. 

The league’s youngest MVP and Championship MVP kept the same pressure up the entire game. 

“Not every game is that fun,” Smith said, and she was right. 

Despite all the trauma in the wake of the Yate’s investigation report, the Thorns seemed to come together to weather the storm. The chemistry between all 27 players who made the trip—a fully healthy roster—was evidence that they leaned on one another during difficult times and really wanted to work for one another. After all, soccer is a team sport. 

Wilkinson pointed out that the players had the right to collapse after the release of the report, but they chose not to—largely thanks to the leaders on the team. 

The Thorns didn’t collapse. Instead, they flourished. They cruised to a victory and made it look easy. When Christine Sinclair was subbed off to let Crystal Dunn close out the game, the passion as she screamed “let’s go!” was palpable. The players knew how well they were playing, and it allowed them to unlock new heights.

Yazmeen Ryan, in only her second year in the league, showed why she was a starter in the Championship game with her dynamic runs on the right wing. Natalia Kuikka shut down every attack down the right flank. Becky Sauerbrunn and Sam Coffey rarely misplaced a pass down the center of the field. Morgan Weaver’s high press was relentless. Each and every player was having fun, and thus, were playing in ways that showcased their full abilities. 

Meghan Klingenberg is the epitome of the Portland Thorns. Since joining the team in 2016, her pregame huddle speeches have become iconic, and her spunk and exuberant personality have helped to bring younger players into the fold. While she doesn’t wear the captain’s armband or receive a lot of press, she silently retains her position as a rock at the core of the Thorns. 

Kling’s work ethic and love of the game is infectious, but so is her sadness. Watching her cry as she crossed the podium to receive her medal, knowing the tsunami of off-field events that her and the rest of the team had to endure was emotional. For me, crying is cathartic. It’s a release of so many pent up emotions that I feel I cannot share. Watching and loving the Thorns over the 2022 season has been hard. It’s been hard to reconcile my admiration of the players themselves with my hatred for the front office, and I’m not even directly involved with the FO.

But, I also know how hard it can be to find joy in the things you love when so many external factors are collapsing in on you. During a traumatic experience at my job in Montana, I couldn’t find the energy to watch or care about the Thorns, something that I have relied on as an outlet each week for the past ten years of my life. As cliche as it sounds, moving back to Portland and returning to Providence Park helped me reinvigorate my love for the team. Watching them achieve an incredible milestone, three stars, in such a fun and dominant manner, was incredible. It felt like a rush of relief, that everything the players have been playing for mattered. Kling’s raw emotion felt like a dam bursting; these players have the ability to celebrate this milestone, despite the lack of support from their employers and without those who they have lost over the past year. The players deserve to feel all the emotions—positive and negative—but so do the fans. 

The Welcome Home Rally at Portland International Airport on Sunday felt intimate. The players and the fans were connecting on the same level, with no on-field barriers or front office to divide them. The pure joy as Smith lifted Dunn’s baby Marcel in the air, wearing a Championship medal and starting the crowd in a “Marcel” chant was contagious. Players took turns hoisting the trophy in the air, cheering one another on. Shelby Hogan was wearing a space helmet. Everything felt perfect. 

Bella Bixby put it best when she said that, “our connection to our supporters was integral. The Riveters have been with us this whole year and stuck by us, and that’s really all we can ask for.”

Riveters, the trophy is for all of us. It’s for the players and the supporters and the coaches. It’s not Merritt Paulson’s trophy. We can celebrate this incredible achievement, and continue to pressure sponsors tomorrow. 

The trophy is home. We have our third star. It’s time to keep building a constellation. 

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Soccer Thorns

Some Thoughts on Endings

Credit: Matthew Wolfe

TW mention of suicide

Watching the Portland Thorns and Chicago Red Stars semi-final alone in my dorm room in Los Angeles, I felt numb. From the kickoff, something was off in the final third. The Thorns weren’t themselves. They seemed to be getting inside their own heads and psyching themselves out. While the stats showed the Thorns absolutely raining shots down on Chicago’s goal—21 to Chicago’s five—none of them were particularly threatening. It didn’t feel like the Thorns deserved to score. 

I wasn’t “having an okay time” seeing the team struggle on the field. They weren’t fighting for the ball as if their season depended on it, which it did. Maybe it was Lindsey Horan’s sudden freak injury or Crystal Dunn’s pregnancy announcement, but the personnel on the pitch seemed as though they had hardly played together. 

The Thorns haven’t had the best run of play leading into the playoffs; despite winning the shield, they won only three of their last 11 games. Ever since Paul Riley’s predatory behavior was made public, there has been a weight on the league that won’t lift. In the postgame, Emily Menges said that the team has done a great job of leaving these traumas off the pitch and focusing on soccer when they’re playing. I have to take her word for it, since I’m not in the locker room. However, I can’t help but think of the extreme mental toll that’s been taken on the players. 

Trauma and abuse as severe as what the players in the league have been through forges intense bonds between people. The foundation for that bonding was already in place. The Thorns have praised their team chemistry and culture throughout the season, saying that they are a team unlike they have been in the past and that they truly believe in one another.

But Menges and Christine Sinclair were on the team back in 2015, too. Having to relive terrible experiences while simultaneously working your job at a place that is entwined with toxicity is impossible for me to imagine, yet these players have done it.

They end the 2021 NWSL season with three of four trophies, which is an incredible feat they should be proud of. 

And yet, I think all these players need a long break. I’m not saying that it’s great that their season was cut short and that they are off now, but from the outside, it’s a bit of a relief. 

I’ve been through my own mental health struggles, which I wrote about for my school newspaper. I played soccer for 12 years at the club and high school levels, but had to quit due to the incredible pressure placed on me by my coaches and the toxic atmosphere my teammates created. Watching the game on Sunday, I couldn’t help but worry that this heavy NWSL season would turn players away from the league—or even from the sport they love altogether. I don’t want to make assumptions about what the players are going through, but I can’t help thinking about it in the context of my own experiences. 

After Chicago scored their second goal and the ref made several bad non-calls, the numbness overtook me. One aspect of the broadcast that particularly got to me was the repeated replays of the goals scored against Bella Bixby. Having only jumped up to first keeper midway through the season, the semifinal was her NWSL playoff debut. The Thorns’ playoff hopes rested on her shoulders. She was visibly frustrated after both goals, and the commentators talked about her reaction as the film looped. The broadcast even lingered on her after goal kicks, as if to implicitly blame her for the scoreline. As soon as the final whistle blew, the camera panned to Bixby, who was overcome with emotion. The camera stayed on her face far too long, and I, too, started to cry. 

Midway through Mark Parsons’s final media call as head coach of the Thorns, Bixby announced on Twitter that her father had died by suicide earlier that week. The rest of the world fell away as I read that. I barely registered another word that Parsons said. I knew exactly what Bixby was going through, and I couldn’t believe that she had just managed to play the most important game of her career. 

When I was 16, one of my close friends died by suicide, and I couldn’t do anything for weeks. Still, five years later, it’s hard for me to do things we used to do together. I can’t listen to Taylor Swift or have a picnic where we only eat veggie straws or see our horse, Willow, without crying. The mental strength it took for Bixby to go to work, to compete at the highest level, is something I cannot imagine, and I am so unbelievably impressed. It also made me more angry at the ways the broadcast fixated on her emotions. No matter the reason behind the sadness or emotions, they’re not for broadcasts or journalists to turn into content. 

When I lost my friend, I hated how people asked my mom, “oh, how is Jaiden doing?” for weeks. It never felt like genuine concern, just morbid curiosity. Like I was a museum piece.

I’m sad for the team, and how their season ended. There will not be a Thorns team like them again, with Parsons leaving and a roster shakeup inevitable with a double expansion draft next month. I’ll be sad to see people go, but I also know that the culture and community that the team has worked hard to create will inevitably be broken up. Losing that sense of safety and community so suddenly is hard to deal with.

Even with the team splintering off in the off-season, I hope they are still able to lean on one another as results of investigations are revealed. I particularly hope that Bella Bixby has people to support her. Having a group of people you can lean on no questions asked is one of the best tools for grieving. 

I don’t have much to say about the soccer played in that semifinal. But I do know that when you lose someone to suicide, it feels like the earth has stopped spinning.

If you suspect someone is suffering from suicidal thoughts or ideations, ask them about it point-blank. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s so much worse to regret that you didn’t ask. People who are suicidal feel as though they have no one to talk to. Showing them you’re the person they can talk to might save their life.

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Soccer Thorns

Just the Beginning for Bella Bixby

Photo by Bryan Byerly/ISI Photos
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Soccer Thorns

Four Takeaways from Portland 1, North Carolina 2

Portland Thorns team in Black Lives Matter warmups. Rob Gray / ISI Photos

The NWSL Challenge Cup has begun, marking the return of live professional sports to the United States.

In a reminder of just how much has been going on in the world outside the NWSL bubble, all the starting players wore Black Lives Matter warm-up shirts and Black Lives Matter armbands throughout the game, and took a knee for the national anthem. Which was played by a saxophonist in a suit, with slicked-back hair, who could not resist getting in some delicious licks at the end of a very smooth rendition of the Star-Spangled banner.

This strange image just about summed up the odd sensations of watching live sports again: the seriousness of the threats against life around the globe—Black life in particular—weighs on us all. We stand in solidarity.

The Thorns played better than expected for a young squad who saw significant departures in the off-season, and it was only a late defensive lapse that cost the Thorns a point in stoppage time. Leaving Lynn Williams unmarked is a very familiar way to lose against North Carolina, but the competitiveness showed by a young team in what was effectively a preseason game was admirable. Simone Charley notched her first goal for the team off a Lindsey Horan header for the only Thorns goal in a 2-1 opening day loss.

1. Raquel Rodríguez is the real deal

The Thorns swapping an iconic defender in Emily Sonnett for the player taken after her in the 2016 College Draft was a huge moment in the off-season. Rodríguez (affectionately called “Rocky”) has been a solid NWSL contributor for years, but did a midfield already stacked with talent really need another attacking player?

Yes, it turns out. Rodríguez was a killer addition in midfield, keeping the team ticking over well, holding the ball up and waiting for support, and even putting in some impressive defensive play. Getting overrun by North Carolina’s four midfielders has been an issue for the Thorns in the past, and Rodríguez’s competitive energy and strength were much-needed additions. It looks like this pairing with Lindsey Horan might work out after all.

2. Bella Bixby is ready for the spotlight

She got thrown directly into the fire against the team that shoots more than any other team in the league, but Milwaukie, Oregon’s own Bella Bixby had an impressive NWSL debut. She got tempted off her line unadvisedly for the Courage’s first goal, but otherwise showed well in her first competitive minutes, getting called upon regularly to defend her near post, nabbing everything she could in the air and holding some real rockets from distance.

AD Franch being a late scratch for the whole tournament was bad news for the team. But this is such a weird tournament, one where the Thorns get to try out stuff they normally wouldn’t. Giving Bixby a chance after two years with the club feels right, and she didn’t disappoint. It’s hard to feel like the future isn’t secure.

3. Parsons has some clever squad management plans

Seeing Tyler Lussi and the newly-signed Marissa Everett in the starting lineup threw a few people for a loop. While both players who have made an impact in their minutes for the club, they seem like they would be further down the depth chart than others. After halftime though, it quickly became clear what the plan was: Morgan Weaver and Simone Charley were double-subbed on for the starting forwards and immediately went to work, with Charley scoring and both looking dangerous the remainder of the game.

Charley has been minutes-limited in her time with the club, even in normal NWSL play. She’s clearly a sprinter who leaves it all on the field, and up against tired defenses, this could be a real game changer. Weaver is still getting used to professional fitness. Especially in the opening stages of this tournament, both can be maximized by holding them in reserve from the start. And with five substitutions now allowed per game, why not? It’s a pretty different approach to soccer than most people think of (where your best players must always start) but it’s worth a shot, and it will be interesting to see if it stays the same through the knockout rounds.

4. Aggressive defense works, except when it doesn’t

The Thorns defense has many qualities. They are not as fast as the North Carolina Courage’s attackers. Therefore, they should sit back as deep as they can, right?

Wrong. Becky Sauerbrunn, playing in her first game in Thorns colors, played her markers incredibly aggressively, coming well upfield to head away from Lynn Williams. Kelli Hubly, starting her first game in a while, looked excellent going to ground to win balls near the edge of North Carolina’s penalty box to unsettle them and prevent them from having an easy time building out of the back. It’s hard to say it didn’t work.

And yet, at the same time, the winning goal was conceded because Sauerbrunn was caught upfield trying to cut out a pass, which left two Courage players unmarked at the back post, when most would probably say that the team should have been trying to protect a point.

There’s no doubting that the Thorns made a real impact on the Courage’s midfield buildup in this game, and it cut down on their shooting opportunities throughout. Looking a little foolish once or twice on the break is normally a trade-off that the team will take. Some one has to step up and be the hero in that kind of situation, and looking at Bixby’s face after she conceded, she clearly felt like it should have been her. Those kinds of decisions will get more automatic for her in the future, but she shouldn’t feel too bad about it: the team made a calculated gamble—one that meant that they would sometimes end up in those situations.